If you’re a divorced parent, it’s already time to start figuring out the end-of-year holidays schedule. That may involve plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas and winter break. You may already be looking forward to family gatherings and enjoying special traditions with your children.
What happens, however, if your ex announces that they want to change things at the last minute? Maybe they have surprise tickets to a big show or out-of-town relatives are visiting and they want the kids on a night or a weekend that’s allocated to you. Do you have to comply?
What does your custody order say about the holidays?
Review your order. In Texas, the parenting schedule for holidays is usually included in the court-ordered possession and access agreement. Parents typically alternate Thanksgiving and divide the Christmas school break, with their designated holiday periods changing in odd- and even-numbered years. However, your particular order may contain different provisions. Generally speaking, your ex cannot change a court-ordered schedule without your consent simply because they have new plans.
Can co-parents agree to change the holiday schedule?
Many possession orders expressly permit this, and the courts generally encourage parents to be cooperative about short-term changes or adjustments. You could potentially agree to switch your holiday weekends, change pickup times to accommodate a family gathering or even agree to hold your holiday celebration on a different day.
However, both parents have to agree to the schedule. Your ex cannot simply decide that is what you have to do.
If you do agree to changes, put the details in writing. Text messages or emails can help prevent misunderstandings about exchange times, locations and when the children will be back. An informal agreement does not negate the original orders, and either parent can decide to revert to the official schedule if things become contentious.
What if your ex refuses to follow the schedule?
If your ex threatens to keep the children beyond their designated parenting time or refuses to honor your holiday arrangements, you may have legal options. Depending on the circumstances, these could include seeking enforcement of the existing possession order or requesting official intervention. Documenting communications and any violations can help establish what occurred.
The holidays should be fun for everybody — not a source of anxiety over parenting disputes. Taking action now can help protect your parenting time and give everyone a clearer picture of what to expect.