Children who are going through their parents’ divorce have to deal with a lot of changes. They’ll have to learn how to split their time between parents. They’ll have to learn how to live in two homes. There are many other things that they’ll have to cope with as their world completely changes.
Parents may be able to make this time of transition easier for the children. One way that they may be able to do this is by working as a parenting team. If you’re in this position, one of the ways you might be able to do this is by agreeing to have consistent rules that apply in both homes.
Determining what rules can be shared
It can be challenging to determine what rules can be shared between homes. A good place to start is by looking at the rules the children had when they lived with both parents. Some of these may include things like bedtime, chores and schooling expectations.
You and your ex should sit down together to talk about these matters, as long as you can get along. Writing down the rules that will apply in both homes may be beneficial. You and your ex may be able to talk to the children together so they can see you working as a parenting team.
It might be a good idea to set consistent consequences for both homes. This could also help the children to feel more stable. It can also set the standard that they can’t play one parent against the other in an attempt to get a lighter consequence when they break the rules.
A clear parenting plan can also help to keep the situation stable for the children. You and your ex should get this set as early as possible after the split. Working with someone familiar with these matters may help you to ensure that everything that should be included is present in the document.