Going through a divorce can be challenging for everyone in the family, but parents who can maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship may be able to reduce the strain the situation puts on the children. One common, but potentially harmful, mistake that some divorced parents make is using their children as messengers.
While it may seem convenient to use the children to relay messages, it can lead to long-term emotional consequences for the children. Opting to use direct communication with your ex can help to prevent those negative effects.
Emotional burden on the child
When children are asked to pass messages between parents, they may be subjected to some negative reactions. They may feel responsible for those reactions and the issues that caused them. This may lead to the child having anxiety or thinking they have to choose between their parents.
Miscommunication risk increases
The children may not relay the messages as they were given to them. This can lead to miscommunication between the parents, which can cause considerable conflicts. The children may have to hear their parents arguing over the matter because of the incorrectly relayed message.
It’s best for co-parents to work as a team as they raise the children. Suitable communication options may include phone calls, text messages, emails or parenting app messages. Having the terms of co-parenting communication noted in the parenting plan may be beneficial to everyone so they know how to handle specific situations.